Rod Harding, Christ Church Anglican Church, The Lord Howe Island Signal

Glenys and I arrived back on the Island on the last day of August, the beginning of our three months stay – September, October and November – during which we are tasked with the responsibility for Christ Church Anglican Church. As we landed and stepped down from the Dash 8, we immediately felt it was so good to be back!

After spending three months here last year (March to May), we were looking forward to renewing friendships and relationships, also knowing that there would be some we would not see (like Bill Retmock – we are still getting used to the emptiness of that front seat in church on Sunday mornings). We also knew that it was just two weeks before the national celebration of R U OK? Day, and had it in mind that we could invite others to join us in a local expression of that celebration on September 14.

It took us a week or so to settle in, and to make enquiries. After checking that there was nothing else happening on the Island to mark the Day, and with the positive support of the staff at both the Board and the Hospital, we continued to develop the idea. The church community was quick to support us, as was Stephen Sia at the Coral Café, so we decided on an open invitation to a ‘Coffee and Muffin Conversation’ at the café, for anyone to attend. We placed an invitation on the LHI Community Announcement Facebook page, regrettably only a few days before the event – our sincere apologies to all who missed it, or who are not members of that online group.

On R U OK? Day (the second Thursday in September), fifteen people gathered on the veranda at the Coral Café, most of whom were hearing about the R U OK? movement for the first time. Amongst them were two tourists, Glenys and me – the rest were islanders. We met from 1pm, tea/ coffee and cakes were served by the friendly staff of the café, and our ‘conversation’ together began around 1:30pm, during which Karen Giles (community nurse) was able to share just how meaningful R U OK? conversations could be.

It was close to 3pm by the time the last people left the veranda, even though the café had officially closed at 2pm.

So what is R U OK? all about, and why did we want to acknowledge the Day?

R U OK? is a charity promoting public health, encouraging people to stay connected and to have conversations that can help others through difficult times in their lives.

It was founded in 2009 by Gavin Larkin, who tragically lost his father to suicide in 1995. To honour his father and to help protect other families from the pain he had endured, Gavin chose to champion just one question – ‘Are you OK?’. Sadly, Gavin himself died of cancer in 2011.

R U OK? has since become an Australian national conversation movement that focuses on building the motivation, confidence and skills of Australians to have meaningful conversations with family, friends and colleagues based on that question – ‘Are you OK?’. When life serves up challenges that cause us to feel overwhelmed, unsure or unsettled, it’s comforting to know there is someone we can talk to who can share the load and help us through.

The people in your world won’t always tell you if something is troubling them so it’s important to consider what’s going on in their lives and to be on the lookout for any changes in the way they speak or behave.

• Are they having relationship difficulties?
• Are they experiencing increased or more constant levels of stress?
• Are they in financial trouble?
• Have there been major changes in their lives?
• Have they experienced loss and/or grief?
• Do they have health concerns?
• These are tough circumstances for anyone to manage on their own, but by asking ‘Are you OK?’ and having a meaningful conversation, you can help those you care about through life’s ups and downs. 

This article appeared in The Lord Howe Island Signal, 30 September 2023.