Last week, I was hosting an evening for parents, coaches, and presidents of junior sports clubs out in western NSW when a mother asked the presenting panel, “What is the number one requirement for any talented kid to succeed in sport?” 

The high-performance coach in attendance stood up and said one word: desire!

Every great achievement in life starts with the same thing. Not talent. Not resources. Not connections. But desire. Before the trophies, the promotions, the breakthroughs, there is always a person who wants something badly enough to actually pursue it. But here is the catch. Desire is a choice. An individual choice, and it rests with the person. The journey from good to better to elite has one non-negotiable starting point: You must genuinely desire it.

Desire isn’t the same as wanting something. Many people want or dream of achieving things, but few are truly driven by them. The difference between those people who are good at a young age and those who become elite at their chosen craft is desire. A passion to excel. Desire is an internal pull, the kind that makes you act when the going gets hard, stay committed when the results aren’t showing, and keep going when the easier choice is to quit. It’s the emotional weight behind a goal. The willingness to be uncomfortable, repeatedly, in the pursuit of something you deeply care about. 

As Pablo Picasso famously said, “I breathe, therefore I draw!” His life, passion, and purpose was art.

Desire gets people started. Persistence keeps them going. Purpose gives the journey meaning. Take any one of these away, and the whole thing eventually unravels.

Desire without purpose never lasts

This is where most people unravel. Short bursts of motivation are easy. An idea or goal that sounds exciting one day generates some initial energy, enthusiasm is real, but then reality shows up. Progress stalls, and the inevitable setbacks arrive. The gap between where you are and where you want to be starts to feel wider than you anticipated. At this point, desire will always be tested. And if the goal isn’t anchored to something meaningful (to who you are and what matters to you), then it fades. The goal looked attractive from a distance, but it never had enough depth to personally sustain the effort required.

Purpose answers an important personal question: Why does this actually matter to me?

When leaders are clear on what matters to them and why it is important, resilience follows. When teams share a genuine sense of purpose, something shifts; the work becomes more than just tasks on a list. Purpose turns ambition into commitment, and personal desire and commitment show up when things get hard. It is what overcomes setbacks and is the recipe for working through vulnerability.

Passion is what gives desire its legs

Passion gets misunderstood. It’s not just excitement! Excitement is short-lived. Passion is a genuine interest in the work itself. It creates curiosity and helps sustain focus and attention. It generates a sense of fun and enjoyment. This is what makes the hard parts feel like part of the process, rather than a chore or a reason to quit.

Elite athletes often talk about what motivated them to become elite. Most did not set out to become elite; they just loved what they were doing. They showed up because the activity gave them something. They trained hard because they genuinely wanted to get better, not because someone told them to. Their passion fuelled their desire, which drove the effort required to succeed, and their effort compounded into something exceptional over time.

This cycle of passion, desire, effort, and growth isn’t unique to sport. You see it in great leaders, teachers, entrepreneurs, tradies, farmers, artists, or health care workers. The common denominator isn’t talent. It’s that they have found something worth personally investing their time and energy into.

Energy matters more than people admit 

Without energy, even the most motivated person starts to find their passion erode. We’ve all been there. Periods where everything feels manageable, where momentum builds, and the path forward seems clear. And then periods where fatigue sets in, enthusiasm drops, and the discipline that used to feel easy becomes a grind. Burnout doesn’t arrive all at once; it chips away quietly until you notice the desire that once felt unshakeable has gone quiet. This is why the best leaders I’ve worked with take energy seriously. Not just physical energy (though that matters), but the kind that comes from doing meaningful work, by having strong relationships, from switching off and taking time out.

High-performing teams understand this too. The strongest cultures I’ve seen aren’t held together by pressure and results-based accountability alone. They have something else, genuine enjoyment, a sense of belonging, moments of celebration. People perform differently when they want to be there and feel a true sense of belonging and feel valued.

The key question I ask leaders I work with is: What are your rocks?

• What grounds you? 
• What fills your tank? 
• What brings you back to yourself when the pressure mounts or the results disappoint? 

This usually includes things like family, sport, faith, learning, friendships, community, or wellness. The answer is different for everyone, but the leaders who know what their rocks are (what drives them) will protect them, pursue them, and never compromise them. This helps anchor personal desire and forms the basis of self-leadership. When motivation dips (and it will), your rocks are what reconnect you with why you started.

Desire is a choice, not a given

This might be the most important thing I can say about desire. Leaders cannot force it into someone. You can help create conditions for it to be explored. You can help people connect to purpose within a team. You can role model it for yourself. But desire is ultimately a personal decision. People choose to care, choose to commit, choose to engage. Having no desire for something is a choice too! When connection to something is real, desire shows up on its own. When it’s missing, no amount of pressure will manufacture desire.

A word for those just starting their leadership journey. If you’re in your twenties or just starting your career, well, perhaps you’re still figuring out what drives you; that’s fine. Some of the most important lessons come from paths that lead nowhere. It is important to travel, try different work, start new roles, join new teams, volunteer, and fail at stuff. Your twenties are an important phase of your life where you explore who you are. Some things will be exciting and affirming to you. Other things will be a turn-off or disappointment. Both are useful. But be comfortable testing yourself and exploring what drives you. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to stay honest with yourself about what’s giving you energy and what’s draining it. These are important feelings. They are telling you something and then keep adjusting accordingly. Where you have a passion for something that you find interesting and exciting, that is where you will ignite your desire!

Fulfillment in life doesn’t happen by accident. It follows desire. But desire that lasts helps reveal your purpose and life passion. This will give you the energy to keep going when the going gets difficult. Just because you are good at something does not mean you have to follow it. But if you enjoy it, and you find it fun, rewarding, and interesting, then explore it and see where it leads.

Leadership Lesson

When people discover their purpose and pursue their passions, desire flourishes, and where desire flourishes, excellence and life fulfillment have a chance to follow. A leader’s role is to encourage and create the environment for the above to occur.

Facta Non-Verba – Deeds Not Words