Remember way back when we used to use paper money and coin? Pay large amounts with a cheque?

Yes, me too, but those days are long gone. Simple days I sometimes long for, especially after today’s abortive effort.

This morning, our three new bankcards arrived. My husband’s is the main card, mine and our son’s run off it…

The bank – ANZ – letter – said do it online … HWMBO (BNI) is hopeless on the computer, so I opened the account, searched for right place online, finally found it, did his and the little arrow came up and said ok… there was a sigh of relief on my part.

SO – I tried to do the same to mine –  it told me quite rudely to naff off. I wondered if maybe activating his also activated the other two…  I couldn’t find out anywhere in the online words if this was the case.

SO I phoned… “we understand your time is valuable” said the soothing voice… and proceeded to give me 13 minutes of absolutely awful repetitive music punctuated by squeal noises calculated to make me hang up  – but I remained STRONG!!

Finally Ekansh from deepest India arrived online…. we exchanged pleasantries despite having the usual problem of trying to decipher each other’s accent.

I tried to explain what’s happened… and merely asked, did activating husband’s card do mine as well…?

He can’t tell me…. why not ? The reason floors me.

He can’t tell me because I am not my husband… where is my husband please… he asks..  I explain he is old – he is deaf – and he is also ASLEEP IN BED…  (afternoon nap)

Well, Ekansh was most sorry, but informed me that without speaking to husband he cannot help.

This, despite the fact I do all the banking, know all the passwords, his date of birth…the amount of money in the account to the last cent –  what he looks like in his underwear. The answer was –  no, very very sorry.

I told him, quite crossly, that I do have a deep voice and am often mistaken on the phone for a male, and in five minutes I will call Ekansh back tell him I am my husband and get the DAMN INFO and all I wanted to know was if MY card had been activated.!

Ekansh apologised and very politely asks me if there’s anything else he can help with… I hung up, thinking it would have taken me less time to drive to the bank in the next town (our closest now the banks keep closing) and sort the damn thing out there.

Sweet Lord. Save me. Whatever happened to cash and cheques.