So – I was given a lovely barrel fountain some time back.

It has a top half with what looks like an old hand pump that runs by solar and trickles water into the larger lower cask. I love it and the sounds of the water.

Recently, for some totally unknown reason, I decided I might like some fish in it…  I ventured into the local Pet Stock shop that sells them and was regaled by the charming girl as to the varieties of fish there are…

I though there were goldfish and that was it… but nooooo. for example… The Two Spot Barb,  –  This fish hails from Nepal, India, and Pakistan. The omnivorous two spot barb (Pethia ticto, formerly Barbus ticto) can be a bright red fish. The darkness of its spots and the brightness of the red lateral colour match the quality of its varied diet; it is recommended to give them live food, flake food, and some algae. Counter to its name, this barb has no barbels at all.

Get the picture? These fish people take things seriously.

Then there are Ryukin, Lionhead, Fantail, Catfish and Sucking Catfish, Red and White Ranchu; White Clouds Cornet; Zebra and Leopard Danio; Red, Blue or Red and White Oranda, Red Cap, Shubunkin and Wadin. And….. goldfish…

All I wanted was a couple of fish…

Then – the cost…tiny from about $5  up to $20 and beyond.

I settled for five tiny little swimmers that seemed totally determined not to be caught by the girl with the net… took them home, read the instructions threw them in the fountain and they have never been seen again. So much for that. Well, they WERE tiny.

So my son decided this was not good enough, chatted to a knowledgeable friend, invested in pond weed, and went back to the shop and bought six larger sized goldfish. They swam happily and popped up and gazed around, everyone was delighted.

I was left with strict instructions that they were to be fed, every day for the first week… and I have to be truthful… I forgot… for two days… No horse, dog, cat or budgie has ever been forgotten at feed time in our house so I have no excuse.

Mea Culpa.

Anyway, I thought oh no when I remembered and ran out with food in hand and… one was floating around – belly up… oh the shame…

It was one of the new, big expensive ones too.

Husband found this hilarious…why I don’t know, and led to some terse words from me – but my only solution was to race back down to the shop and replace it… I did. And as the girl there knows the family she was sworn to secrecy.

I drove home, went out with the new arrival to float him round in the plastic bag as instructed (one of the other instructions was to be gentle or the fish would be stressed… are there fish tranquilizers?)

But… anyway I did all I was supposed to and plopped it in the pond.

I was congratulating myself on my subterfuge, but then had an awful thought.

We have this newfangled doorbell thing called Ring, it films everyone coming and going through the front door… and son has the habit of just checking it during his lunch break.

There was his mum, for ALL the world to see, bag of goldfish held carefully in one hand so as not to stress it, tin of fish food in the other… there was no escape…

I owned up, and I have not had any more belly ups since… but even at my age the lesson is there, always tell the truth or it will come out… unless I had put a bit more thought into it.

I should have snuck round and come in the back way… after all one goldfish looks very like another…