It has elements of Jack and the Beanstalk and Cinderella, but our story is far from a fairytale, and doesn’t take place in a magical far away land. Our story involves one man’s dream, giant pumpkin seeds, a pumpkin boat, and our mighty Murray River.

After years of wondering if he could make a boat out of a giant pumpkin, Bradley Haw from Boort decided this was the year to find out. 

Inspired by American pumpkin regattas and spurred on by the world record for taking a pumpkin 63km down a river, Bradley and workmate Fred grew six giant pumpkins and hoped to set their own world record right here on the Murray. 

Despite their preparations and tending lovingly to the crops (also involving catching a ton of carp and mulching it), cold nights during the full growth stage stunted all but one of the pumpkins – aptly named Bippity Boppity Boo. While it wasn’t the 400kg pumpkin he was hoping for, at 298kg, it was boat worthy, and also became the biggest pumpkin grown in Victoria.

Instead of Fred by his side in a pumpkin, Fred and Bradley’s 10- and 13-year-old sons rode alongside in the support boat they named the Gourd Mother. Bradley’s wife Karen, a former Cohuna podiatrist, was never far away either.

On launch day – Good Friday (or as Bradley calls it, ‘Gourd Friday’) they arrived on the banks of the Murray at Torrumbarry Weir Holiday Park and were greeted with a disappointingly low and barely flowing river. 

“We tipped the pumpkin into the river and we had a look at how it wanted to float,” said Bradley. “Then, we cut a hole in it for me to hop in and we scooped out all the seeds and things. We cut into it to make it half comfortable, and away we went.” 

From there, it was trial and error until it felt right.

“The first couple of k’s was very difficult, we capsized quite a few times, and every time we capsized, we’d cut a bit more pumpkin out – every kilo of pumpkin you cut out, it floats a bit better.”

The hole had to be just right – not too big to allow water seepage, but not too small that Bradley could become trapped when it capsized. Bradley was very cramped and as they cut more out, they needed something for him to sit on (the support boat was supplied with a myriad of possibilities). Starting with a plastic jerry can and trying a few things out, they found a yoga ball worked best.

“I started sitting on my knees and ankles and it was very painful. When I put the yoga ball in, I could put up with it for about 5km, about 2 hours. Then, I’d have to hop out and stretch my legs for a quarter of an hour and hop back in and keep going.”

Bradley said curious boaters and campers would call out or come over to see that it was indeed a real pumpkin and his sons would give seeds to anyone interested in “growing their own boats”.

On day one, he managed 14 kilometres and on day two about 20km. They were about half way to breaking the record, but on Easter Sunday, awoke to a stench like no other and weren’t sure if the pumpkin would last.

“On day three, Sunday, we woke up in the morning and the pumpkin was rotting. All the flesh inside was rotting – it smelt like a scrap bucket that had been left too long on the bench with a bit of vomit in it. It was horrendous!”

Bradley was worried he’d put his foot through the “manky” pumpkin but they cut more out, pumped up the ball and Bradley sat high enough for his feet to hang over the edge, alleviating the need to stop and stretch and gave him about 13 hours of exhausting paddle time that day – getting him to 67km – 4km beyond the current record.

Hopes of squeezing more kilometres out of the pumpkin were dashed on Easter Monday when they awoke to a decaying pumpkin. 

Bradley had made it to Nursery Bend, and while it wasn’t Barham as he had initially hoped, he realises the size of pumpkin and the level and flow of the river made that impossible – but, he will be growing more giant pumpkins from the seeds they saved and hopes next year to smash his own record.

Official word of the World Record is forthcoming, but Bradley, who describes himself as “not very sporty by any means” is excited.

“My first go at sport, and I’m a world champion!”

This article appeared in The Koondrook and Barham Bridge Newspaper, 11 April 2024.