Leadership & You #14
Recently I have been hosting a series of Business Leaders Round Tables throughout regional Victoria and Queensland. In several of the sessions, I was quite taken aback by the language used to describe our next generation by some of the leaders present. History shows that every generation has its own set of unique qualities, values, and idiosyncrasies. But describing or labelling an entire generation with broad sweeping negative generalisations is unhelpful and is a sure way to get any potential staff or volunteers offside. Throughout history every generation has had to navigate the gap between one generation to the next. This is a Leadership Challenge. Attracting and retaining staff and volunteers is difficult at the best of times. Fostering an inviting, inclusive, and respectful team culture starts with and rests with the leader.
This got me thinking about the topic of toxic leaders. The sad fact is it is so prevalent, and worse it is tolerated. We all know toxic leaders. People pick up on the character of a leader through their language, behaviours, and lived experiences. An ability to connect meaningfully with the next generation is a key leadership quality.
“Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it,
and wiser than the one that comes after it.”
– George Orwell
Toxic leadership defined: A toxic leader is someone who is not trusted or respected, hence lacks integrity. It can also be someone who is silent or passive, thus cannot be relied on to act on issues or proactively drive direction and motivate people.
The Ivey Business School defines a toxic leader as “individuals who by virtue of their destructive behaviours and their dysfunctional personal qualities or characteristics inflict serious and enduring harm on the individuals, groups, organisations or communities they have the misfortune to lead.”
Ultimately, a toxic leader has no credibility. A toxic leader drains your energy. A toxic leader widens the gap between generations. This problem of intergenerational disconnection has been going on for centuries.
“The next generation think they know everything and are always quite sure about it.”
– Aristotle, 4th Century BC
A toxic leader kills enthusiasm, commitment and ultimately the passion of team members. The traits and characteristics of toxic leaders are numerous. Read through the following toxic leadership traits and see if you can identify examples of leaders you may know. How do you rate yourself?
Six tips to avoid being described as a toxic leader:
Let’s be very clear, there is no leadership course, 360-degree feedback tool, or personality psych test in the world that can change or influence toxic leaders. It is about values, mindsets, behaviours, language used, and the ability to role model desired actions.
Tip 1: Empathy: Have a positive empathy for people, listen to their needs and build their trust by the little actions you do. Never label people in generalist terms. Everyone has feelings, needs, priorities, and challenges. People are not machines and hence regular meaningful check ins are required. This is crucial to gain a deeper understanding of how people think, learn, and prioritise. Empathy requires strong communication, listening, observation, and timely feedback loops. What does not help is general descriptions and accusations of people, angry outbursts, or judgemental language.
Your energy always precedes you!
Tip 2: Humour: A happy and positive demeanour to life helps builds an air of trust, respect, and enthusiasm. A team with good humour has a leader with a supportive positive and optimistic outlook. Happy teams are more resilient, open and honest. Teams that have fun are more likely to be successful, innovative, agile, and adaptive to change. This starts with the leader and their positive or negative disposition to life.
“There is nothing more calming in difficult moments than to have someone cheerfully supporting you!”
– Mother Theresa
Tip 3: Be balanced – not unhinged: Life is too short to spend time with toxic leaders. There is a huge world out there and life is meant to be lived to its fullest. Balancing personal and career needs requires careful self-management, but requires a leader’s support and intent. A leader who is fixated only on their needs and requirements, without due regard to the needs of others, will be considered unhinged. Don’t confuse passion for a cause or role with being objective, balanced and considerate. Everyone has the same 168 hours in a week. We all have competing priorities and needs, and we are all trying to balance these as best we can.
“Do not let the behaviours of others destroy your inner peace!”
– Dalai Lama
Tip 4: Stability of temperament: A stable temper is central to building trust. Flying off the handle into fits of rage is one of the surest ways to kill team dynamics. Being consistent in your temper, language, and behaviour helps build a sense of engagement and connection with people. We all have moments of frustration and exhilaration. If things are bumpy, communicate more regularly with your team and look for small wins to build confidence and a sense of progress and hope! As the old saying goes…..
“You need to experience Winter to appreciate Summer!”
– Old Proverb
Tip 5: Practice gratitude:
Gratitude costs nothing. Demonstrating appreciation takes no effort. Thank people for their efforts. Demonstrate appreciation for the genuine attempts of people to add value or complete a task. Assume people do things with best intentions, not to deliberately muck things up. Gratitude from a leader is a powerful symbolic message to a person that they are a respected and valued member of the team, and their efforts do not go unnoticed.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.“
– Oprah Winfrey
Tip 6: Honour your commitments:
Do what you say you will do, always follow up promises with a check in with the team to learn their lived experience. Close feedback loops. Encourage colleagues to provide feedback – when things are going well – or when things are off track. Treat any feedback as a gift. Ultimately it is the little things a leader does day in and day out that builds trust and credibility. It starts with doing what you say you will do in a timely manner.
“Honour your commitments…or stop making them.
Nothing kills trust and belief quicker than a leader’s empty promises.”
– David Stewart
Finally: So, when you a bemoaning the fact you cannot attract staff or volunteers, first check the quality of your leadership. The calibre and character of a leader is revealed through all the moments that make up their tenure as a leader. It evolves over time. How a leader acts and behaves in different circumstances, or indeed what they don’t do or choose to ignore will ultimately shape how people judge and describe a leader. This starts with the first impression a leader creates. A leader’s language, energy, body language, and tone of voice are critical in creating an inclusive, inviting, and positive team chemistry. This requires leadership intent. Toxic leaders demand respect. Authentic leaders earn respect.
Leadership Lesson
The culture of any team is shaped by the worst behaviours a leader is prepared to tolerate.
This starts by a leader role modelling and endorsing the right mindset and behaviours.
Facta Non Verba = Deeds Not Words
